Leading a small group Bible study is a complex and demanding task. Leaders must be skilled in understanding the meaning of the Bible passage and applying it to the lives of those in their group. More than that, they must aim to engage the hearts and stir the affections of those they lead. And this is all meant to happen in the context of a group discussion, a conversation in which each member is invited to contribute something. That’s a lot of things happening all at once! Small group leading requires an ability to interact with people of all types, backgrounds, personalities, and levels of Bible knowledge and spiritual maturity, and to encourage, redirect, affirm, or disagree, as needed, all in real time. In the small group setting, we really never know what’s going to happen next. That’s the excitement (and terror) of small group leading. It’s kind of like piloting an airplane and inviting all the passengers (our small group members) to enter the cockpit and take a turn at the controls – all while not crashing and aiming to arrive safely at our desired location. This means that, while our main goal as small group leaders is to convey God’s grace, our main need as small group leaders is to experience God’s grace. We need his empowering grace to lead well, and his forgiving grace when we don’t. Small group leaders are major consumers of grace.
When I preached a sermon series on marriage and sexuality several years ago, I was reminded of the importance of proclaiming biblical truth and modeling gospel humility and love. We convey the gospel through awareness of our own sin, our own need for grace, and our glad extending of grace to others. We convey love through our willingness to speak, but also through our willingness to listen and learn. When we address controversial topics, we’re dealing not just with ideas but with real people. So, we should listen carefully to hear the struggles and difficulties they face. We should seek to understand those we disagree with and to present their views fairly, never caricaturing, exaggerating, or mischaracterizing. We should speak with a tone of respect (not disdain) when we disagree.
If we’re to help people in our groups engage productively with controversial issues, it’s important to have thought about the issues beforehand and have a biblically-informed view. We can do this by seeking to:
- Read the Bible every day, sometimes with the help of a good study Bible or one-volume Bible commentary (I recommend the New Bible Commentary)
- Study particular topics (g., homosexuality, transgender, immigration, other religions, divorce/remarriage)
- Bookmark and regularly visit websites such as The Gospel Coalition and Desiring God to develop our Christian worldview
- Read good Christian books (Sam Allberry’s Is God Anti-Gay? Andrew Walker’s God and the Transgender Debate)
- Listen to podcasts (Ask Pastor John from Desiring God is particularly helpful).
One of our jobs as leaders is to guide people through the study we’ve prepared, which means we can’t possibly address every single issue that is raised along the way. We shouldn’t feel guilty about not saying everything about everything. But sometimes we should respond. Here are some diagnostic questions to help us know when to engage with the issues raised in our group:
- How significant is the mistaken view that’s been shared? If it’s heresy, or clearly wrong, or seriously offensive to others, we should respond.
- Is it something we personally disagree with (g., mushrooms are delicious), or something the Bible disagrees with (e.g., sex outside the marriage covenant is okay)? If the latter, we should respond.
- How confidently did the person say it? Was it a bold assertion or a meek question? This will shape the content and nature of our response.
- Will not responding produce confusion or hurt among other group members? We undercut our profession of the Bible’s truth and authority if we consistently ignore badly mistaken comments with a friendly smile. That communicates that we think unbiblical views are no big deal, that it’s more important to get along and not offend others than to cherish biblical truth.
- What’s the motivation of the person raising the issue? Are they coming from a place of personal hurt or confusion? Are they trying to stir up controversy? Or do they have a genuine question? Are they arguing for their position or simply assuming it? We need to engage each person pastorally.
- Do we have a clear, helpful, immediate answer to the question or issue that has been raised? If we don’t know how to respond in the moment, we should say so and promise to follow up later, either in the group context or with the individual on their own. It’s better to say we’ll give a future, considered response than to give an immediate, unhelpful one.